Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Life with and without Bruce

Lexi is needing more cuddles these days and demands them. When we first met her at the SPCA she climbed onto Bruce’s shoulder and claimed him hers, as he did back. He has always been more affectionate with her having had about 20 cats before. So we’re both purring along as best we can.

Hot, hot, hot here, sapping my energy, 32 - 36 Celsius for the last three weeks. Know Sevilla is almost 10 degrees hotter so glad I’m not there right now, but plan to go late fall, early winter.

Thank you for your condolences, I am feeling guilty for not writing back sooner but have to live with the range of emotions I have been feeling and writing has been difficult. 

What I most appreciated and enjoyed while living with Bruce who I called Whit for 14 years.

 - We had a wonderful life together realizing both our dreams of travelling. We did a lot of travelling prior to my writing the blog (and living with Lexi), Australia, New Zealand, Cook Islands, Hawaii, western Europe… 

- We had a strange, even to us, connection of frequently voicing the same thing, simultaneously, without prior talk about it, very much in tune that way.

- We did not get married because Bruce felt that if we did he wouldn’t woo me any more, he wanted to keep our romance and appreciation for each other fresh.

- He loved me deeply, as I did him, more so than either one of us had experienced in previous relationships.

- Living together was companionable, we talked, or didn’t, we were so very at ease with each other. We went out every day to experience something new or explore or just sit in a cafe to see people and dogs.

- We balanced each other well, his imaginative, scientific and analytical brain to my practical and business like one.

To be fair, and he would agree, what was not as easy about living with him.

  • He couldn't or wouldn't dance, I love to dance.
  • He has always been a night person, as a professor stayed up into the early hours of morning to write his publications to further his epic career. I have always been an early morning person raised on a farm so especially in the later time together this became a bit more difficult.
  • He sleep walked, won’t go into detail, but did cause some funny and embarrassing, sometimes almost dangerous, situations we found ourselves in.
  • Bruce relied on someone to clean after him, he just didn’t think about it. He told me when first living on his own he couldn’t figure out why his bathroom smelled funky, well he hadn’t washed the towels for a while. He was a messy smoker, and didn’t clean his computer, (Rocio would for him with a tsk, tsk). He took it in for service one time and the horrified fellow said why would you use this as a coffee table? 
He was truly so very ill the last two and a half weeks of his life, but was able to have a coherent conversation with Dawna and Erwin one afternoon, which we all appreciated. He died rather quickly really, which we are glad of for him especially, due to the prognosis of no recovery of mind or body. When I see a butterfly I think of Bruce being free of his body.

So one facet of life is over for me and where will I go next? Still thinking on that but for now will stay in Freiburg until we (with D & E’s valuable help) get the death documents filed and will probated. I am looking to a new chapter in life, with sadness and anticipation at the same time. I am grateful that I have lived on my own for 10 years prior to meeting Bruce so I have coping skills, I know I have to wash the towels regularly… 

That's all for now, Best, Bev and Lexi Cat